ആമി
Here I am sitting by this window, here in the river bank. I can see it all from here. The tress the birds, their mere existance is to make me happy. I see the river flowing, my shadow floating on it, the rainbows each droplet holds keeps me afloat.
“Alec, come here and sit beside me, Can you not see how beautiful this is”
“I do Julia,its picturesque !
“Oh! I am moved, for some reason, there is an undercurrent in my heart, passionate and strong, it does not hurt but it's very soothing. Like this river, it is flowing freely, and its flowing in tune to nature”
“I am feeling it”
“Really Alec? you can feel the same?
“Yes, I am feeling that current”
“Is it making you happy, does it bother you?
“I dont know, its too strong”
“I don't want to bother you, if it does you have to tell me, I want you to remain happy and content, peaceful, at ease”
“but there are two roads that we are walking on, oh by the way its not bothering me or anything
“Will it get affected?
“Will it? I don't know”
“Do I make you happy?
“If what you are giving me is not happiness, then I don't think I want that other happiness at all”
“Then I want to make you happy, as long as I can, as long as you want me to”
“All I want is to be with you....not exactly you...your soul, are you familiar with that, or will you get skeptical and turn back? Its like I have known you for long, and I know I did, I can't be just dreaming out of nowhere”
“Did I provoke you Julia”
“You did not Alec, you never did, that is how I could say I felt like this quite natural, like this was always inside me. I wish if I could make you understand”
“But Julia, are we supposed to be?
“No, for others we are not supposed to be....."
“By the way this is the not first time I have this current”
“Oh! really Alec, have you been in this for long, I wish if I realized it earlier. I also was, I know, everytime I see you every time I talk to you I knew familiarity is what I am standing on”
“yes Julia I did feel it”
“I know, without a recipient love cannot flow, I know when it reaches and touches you, when I know that I sent it. Alec, make it rain now, I feel like I want to see rain...happily falling down to this river where it knows it is going to stay forever happy and alive”
“Julia come down here and sit with me”
“Is the floor cold?
“No, it is not”
“Ok, I want to remove my socks”
“Julia, you are too precious to me that I can't see you get hurt”
“You won't hurt me, I promise you that. I will never stop the way I love you, and when I love someone how can they hurt me?
“And what if one day, I am to walk away, holding the hands of someone else”
“You won't hurt me, in anyway you want to try you can. I am going to be in a small place in your heart, am I not?
“you are, you will be”
“Knowing that how can I get hurt? How comforting it is to know that you are in a person’s heart forever, in a very precious and sacred place. how soothing it is”
“Won’t it hurt them?
“Alec, am I supposed to say this will hurt many and so we should probably not do this? Does that duty of taking us to departure fall on me?
“I can't turn my back to love.....I surely can't”
“You tell me, what should we do?
“I don't have an answer to that Julia, I am dying and love is what I need”
“Then receive it, until you are alive again. I will stop making you feel my love when you are ready to go”
“How can I throw it away, when I know for sure that it is pure?
“Don’t throw it away, just don't receive it anymore”
“But precious, won't that hurt you, I can't do that to you”
“Alec”
“Yes dearest”
“Be at ease please, don't think about tomorrow, ‘after all tomorrow is another day’. Love is to be loved, excuses, reasoning, justification, lies, hurt...all these words corrupt love”
“mmmm”
“You need it, I am giving it. It naturally formed inside me, you or me dint do anything for this.”
“Julia, whats there in me thats worth love?
“Keep your hand on my heart, feel it. The way you cause warmth in me is all that worth for love in you. Yourself is all that worth in you to love”
“I love you”
“oh! I thought you would never say, I love you too”
“How can I not love you?
Dear Alec, from that moment on, I was a stream in that river, I was only flowing to all the directions that current took me. Though I knew it would meet a sea of departure someplace, I still wanted to be in it. I could not let it go. Like how the rain comes down from skies, how the wind comes from the earth’s corners, like how there is light, life that is how my love is to you. Knowing that I am in a the sea of departure now, when I look back to all the path we travelled together, it makes me happy, the journey was worth it. You were worth it.
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